Farewell, a word that means leaving something or someone for good, to which you will never look back or meet again in the coming days in your lifetime.
How sad when saying this word, particularly to that you actually you don't want to be apart from, to be specific, to the time, things, or people you firmly love and never think about leaving them.
Interestingly and very strange I have to admit, I am proud of my retentivity; however, I just couldn't remember how I feel and what I was doing for my birthday of 20 years old, not because that is long time ago
... but is because of my life at that time was nothing special at all, to tell the truth a bit unhappy then: I was not pretty, every day I couldn't help worrying about my terrible figure (God... I was 65kg! Small but fat in stature...
) , just starting my university life with insecurity which was basically from being uncertain about my future. Also, I didn't trust and was afraid of meeting and getting familiar with new friends; I kept questioning if a true and firm 'friendship' really exists or is necessary for my poor memory and experience in my senior high school time...
... but is because of my life at that time was nothing special at all, to tell the truth a bit unhappy then: I was not pretty, every day I couldn't help worrying about my terrible figure (God... I was 65kg! Small but fat in stature...) , just starting my university life with insecurity which was basically from being uncertain about my future. Also, I didn't trust and was afraid of meeting and getting familiar with new friends; I kept questioning if a true and firm 'friendship' really exists or is necessary for my poor memory and experience in my senior high school time... However, things change and people as well. For me, my life turned out to be much better and meaningful not in 20-25, which is generally viewed as the golden age to a woman; instead, after 25--which is considered to be a 'line' between the 'youth' and 'the start of getting old' to every woman-- I suddenly realised that I need to actively and positively 'do' some changes
for making my life better instead of just 'waiting' the some good changes would happen to me.
Especially in the recent two years, I changed my job, and then quit after a year for making the more dramatic change: last birthday, celebrated my birthday with my family at home, while facing the birthday cake and the candles, I made a wish that may dramatically change my life, to study overseas!! And this dream really came true afterwards.
I don't know where the brave and the will come from if you ask me, I only know that to keep changing is the best thing you should do to make your life more special and meaningful, I like to do some changes when I think I have to because I am so afraid of remaining the same, I did it because I am afraid of what I am thinking will be always the dreams that is so unrealistic... Briefly, just because:
I hate to feel regret and never wanna say sorry about my life, I want to be what I would like to be, that is why I try to make my dreams come true.
I used to share a very compelling sentence before in this blog, 'I am not afraid of getting old but afraid of looking back!' I am so much in this saying, which persuades me to get rid of ageing! Getting old is not so scary, what will scare me is if I don't enjoy my life and try to make it enjoyable, while growing one year older and can't help looking back of my life at such moment, I must feel I am so pathetic because I did nothing special and meaningful and worth keeping in mind for good.
I found out that I can always get more good memories worth remembering after every change, whether big or small one, the bigger the change is, the more unforgettable the memory would be! So, unconsciously, I start being less aware of my age... still care about it, but trying to care about it so much...
Before my birthday, which is a special day as most people consider it, I am going to farewell the 20 something, meanwhile, to face another brand new, better a brighter begining in my life! That is great enough to get rid of the fear of getting older, isn't it!?
** P.S.**
Sincerely, I have to say thank you for the following 'VIP' in my life before my birthday, without you guys, I can't be who I am now:
To all my dear friends in REAP course in last summer who already held a birthday party for me--
Alessendro,Hamaad, Brenda, James, Yoshi, Yoko, Yuko, Rika and Yuri (あなたへのありがたい気持ちは言葉だけで伝えたくてもよく伝えないね。It’s beyond my words...）
To my MSc in Marketing classmates who are going to be with me for celebrating just on this day--Aggie, Ken, Tina, Sophie, Brenda again, maybe Rheya?? (Not sure if you will come)
To all my classmates in Tun-hua Junior High School, class 301.
To all guys in Soochow University, the friends in the Soochow Choir in particular, I miss you.
To Juno, although.. you wrongly remembered my birthday.. haha, but thanks for trying to figure out which day it is anyway.
To my dearest parents and my younger sister and brother, you're the best.
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